AARDA Guest Blogger Sarah Downing takes poetic licence with her autoimmune story in these poems inspired by her life with autoimmune disease:
The Scatter-brained Butterfly
My thyroid’s in a state of flux
This situation really sucks
Hypo means I sleep all day
Wasting all my life away
Hyper means I’m constantly tired
But in a strange way I’m still wired
People think that hyper’s a dream
But that’s not really what it means
My quest for equilibrium
To find a happy medium
Patience
Research
Hope
Good health
Before I can find my way back to myself
Doubting Thomas
I feel like Doubting Thomas
When I doubt I’ll ever get well
As soon as my hope is restored
My thyroid goes to hell
Hormones are unpredictable
And if they don’t cooperate
Your thyroid levels will plummet
And you’ll end up in quite a state
Despairing, frustrating and sometimes elating
Never knowing what’s coming.
Not wanting to know
The doctor’s is a place I don’t always want to go
Fighting for progress
Hoping you won’t regress
Worrying about insurance
Needing reassurance
Going off the pill is a treacherous venture
But welcome back libido
And enjoy the adventure;-)
Patience is a virtue
One I don’t possess
My bloody hormones are in a right old mess
But I know it’s not forever
So I’m playing the waiting game
Knowing that sooner or later
I won’t be feeling so lame
To Sleep Perchance to Sleep Some More
Tiredness is the current dragging me underwater
Tiredness is when my body doesn’t feel like it ought to
Regardless of how much I sleep, it really doesn’t matter
My sleep account’s getting fatter and fatter
Sleep is the thirst-quenching water of the oasis
I feel helpless and my mind is in stasis
The tiniest effort tires me out
Makes me want to scream and shout
“Why can’t I be normal again?”
It’s not a matter of why, but a matter of when
I never gave up hope
Clinging on to memories of before
Life had changed so suddenly
My body was at war
My brain was fuzzy
And my limbs were sore
Now I listen to my body
And what it’s trying to tell me
No more shame in needing rest
Because sometimes it’s for the best
It’s possible to get well
Though sometimes the process will take you through hell
And how long it’ll take
Only time will tell
About Guest Blogger Sarah Downing:
I was born and grew up in England, currently live in Germany and in December will be moving with my hubby Corey and our cuddly orange cat Biscuit to pastures new in Hoboken, NJ. I manage my own translation and writing business Aardwolf Text Services and I love vintage clothes and music, as well as singing karaoke. Writing is the life blood that courses through my British veins and since age seven I’ve been putting pen to paper with poems and stories.
In 2009, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, an autoimmune disease where antibodies attack the thyroid (a tiny gland that controls the whole body), causing it to become inflamed and unable to produce sufficient hormones. Incidentally, my hubby also has thyroid disease and was diagnosed shortly after me because I recognized my symptoms in him. This spurred me to share my experiences and research in writing because I’m eager to reach out to others, give them a voice and raise awareness.
My health writing often focuses on spreading positivity and hope and letting others know they are not alone. I initially wrote a column for a renowned thyroid website and subsequently went on to launch my own site Butterflies and Phoenixes.
Sorry for the late reply. I just came across your comment and want to say how happy I am if I have inspired you.
How are you doing yourself? I'm very sorry they had to do a thyroidectomy on you. Thankfully, it wasn't cancer, but I know (from talking to others in your situation) that it is still a huge struggle to live without a thyroid. I hope you are now at a point where you can still live well and have found the right doctors with the right dose of medication and/or supplements.
Take care and be well!
Sarah